Healthwise I am doing a bit better today. I have more hand function and leg strength than I’ve had in weeks. I’m not sure if I’m experiencing a remission or if this is a benefit of the yoga I did yesterday. My energy level is OK, though it still takes 10-11 hours of sleep to make me as functional as 7-8 hours used to. I’m going to try to make the yoga a daily habit and tonight I’m going to try to get out of the house for a bit. If the fingers stay functional I may even make some holiday ornaments in my glass studio.
My doctor worked some magic and got me a neurologist appointment directly after my brain MRI on Friday (quite an improvement on Jan 31st, which is all the neuro’s receptionist would do for me when I called them on Monday). This is good news as it means I’ll know how much damage my white matter has sustained and I’ll be able to discuss any viable treatment options. However, part of me is terrified to know the reality of what is happening inside of my treacherous brain. I don’t watch that much TV but I’ve seen enough to know that no brain MRI is ever routine and that that approximately 85% of them reveal a terrible tumor, latent aneurysm, or copse of alien eggs nestled cozily into the amygdala.
Really, though, my fear comes from the fact that Friday will be a moment of truth. Right now I can comfort myself with the possibility that perhaps I have a relatively benign version of MS and that I’ll have years of good life to come. Friday’s tests will tell me more about whether that is a likely outcome. And also whether I’ve been feeding my alien eggs enough radioactive uranium gas.
MS is not curable – once you have it, you have it and the nerve damage sustained during each attack is permanent. But it is much more aggressive in some people than in others for reasons that are not well understood. And several therapies have been discovered in recent years that shorten the duration of an attack or even reduce the frequency of attacks. Taken altogether, this makes MS one of the most random diseases in existence.
So, for now I have no idea what my prognosis will be but I should have a slightly better idea on Friday afternoon. Wish me luck!
